Marrying after 30 is a big deal for girls while taking into consideration 'the society'. Pressure from family and relatives, questions from near ones, questions to parents regarding horoscope, health etc - these are normal stuffs. Fortunately I never had any huge pressure on wedding, my parents never wanted me to settle for the sake of marriage or the society. Being the only child they had the fear that if Im unmarried I would be alone if they are no more - thoughts due to obvious health issues. They wanted me to get married only to the one whom I really wanted to be with and they left the choice to me. Unfortunately I couldn't find any true love in my life that I had to rely on matrimonial site.
But thankfully, it was not the typical marriage proposal routine that we had. My dad and the guy(now hubby) talked, then we talked. And yeah we both talked for an hour that day, being able to talk to a stranger for 1 hour itself is a good sign😊 And then were the days to get to know more about each other - thanks to social media. We continued to talk and chat as we have started liking each other and wanted to know whether things would really turn up. And finally we made the decision to go forward and we never had to cross the biggest hurdle - horoscope. We wanted to be together and our parents supported us and we started our journey together.
Well, let me come to the other side of the picture. The above said things wouldn't have happened if I were to marry at an early stage. Most of the wedding dreams I had seems like a fantasy when I think of it now. Age brings in more experience, more lives we have seen, more practical and sensible we have become and above everything, we have become more independent and very much used to our single life. We would have become good planners, decion makers, more confident, career oriented - these are the perks when we stay single for quite a long time. Our concepts about partner and marriage would have drastically changed that the idea of getting married brings you a hell lot of anxiety and questions. I was confused how I am going to accept a person into my space. I was happily enjoying my space, my me-time and anything and everything by myself. It was a big dilemma of acceptance, whether I really need a marriage - I am happy with the life this way then why should I leave my parents and get into a wedding. These stuffs eat up your brain like anything. Only thing I was excited was the shopping part and being a bride. What I felt was when age hugs us, we are more aware of various shades of relationships, people, behaviour etc that we become more careful while decision making when it comes to wedding. At an earlier stage things and thoughts are different, we want a partner and are ready to accept. Also we would not be bothered about the finances or anything, and we want a royal wedding as we see in pictures. For me the acceptance reduced with age. And also I was looking into planning and finances as well.
Post wedding, I am able to share my space with my partner. We are having great communication, understanding and co existence. Many thoughts were unnecessary that it was not so difficult for me to accept him into my world. Into the marriage I am learning more and more, but one bigger learning - there is no perfect relationship, its just a growing relationship - growing together as better individuals and in the areas of open communication, understanding, caring, loving, balancing the relationship and being there for each other.
